Tuesday 31 January 2017

Brain Poem

Everything that you do is always completely wrong,
That's why people around you won't stick around for very long.
They are obviously lying when they say that you are nice,
What does that word mean anyway, why can't I take my own advice.
Your body is disgusting, your brain a twisted mess,
They're thinking the same, you are always to blame but these thoughts they wont confess.
On the streets they look at you, they can see it in your eyes,
You've learned to hide for so long, it still comes as a surprise.
A rush of potent chemicals, the evil you can't see,
The moment you would rather be anything, anyone but me.
You know the mask is slipping,
 They can see the cracks appearing.
You start to come undone, become 'no fun', can you help I'm disappearing.
Insecurity your only friend whispering in your ear,
Don't open yourself up again, wallow in the fear.
No positive can survive the spiral of self doubt,
A negative spin will always win, the loudest voices shout.
Feel an emotion and analyse what's meant by every reaction,
Longing to be numb, fighting not to succumb, looking for distraction.
Sabotage to the wounded brain seems the only way out,
If people fuck you over then you have a reason to scream and shout.
Tear stained eyes the window to a body filled with pain,
Shall I be a cliche and go dancing in the rain.
How can I believe the best when I struggle with the worse,
I want a new brain, I need to retrain, give me the time to rehearse.